The Team and Their Blender
by Sohotthateveryonedied
Summary: Kaldur, M'gann, and Conner learn what a blender is and proceed to pureé everything in sight.


During Homefront I noticed that there was a blender on the counter, and I got unusually excited about it for some reason. Something about a team of superpowers crime-fighting teenagers having something as normal as a blender just makes me really happy I guess. So here's the more curious members of the team discovering what a blender is. I own nothing!

* * *

M'gann had been preparing dinner when she first discovered the blender.

The team had been on a significantly tiring mission that day, so the others were sleeping over in the rooms they had at the cave. M'gann had offered to make dinner for everyone and was now in the middle of preparing some chicken and potatoes. The other eight members of the team were watching Once Upon a Time on Netflix. She listened as they made comments about their favorite show.

"I still don't get how they could kill Neal off like that", Conner was saying.

He and the rest of the group of friends were sprawled out around the living room. Kaldur and Raquel took up the loveseat, while Conner lay along the length of the longer portion of the other couch. Next to him was Wally, with Artemis laying with her head on his lap. Dick sat in front of them, leaning his back against Wally's legs.

Artemis took a handful of popcorn from the bowl Dick held, eyes not leaving the screen. "Yeah, but at least now Emma and Hook can be together", she pointed out.

Dick held up a finger. "But doesn't it kind of suck for everyone? Henry's got no father, Rumplestiltskin's got no son, and now Emma's going to be sad about it for like a season."

"It won't matter for Emma cuz she and Hook are true loves, have you been paying attention at all", Wally said. He stretched and yawned before getting off the couch, earning a pout from Artemis, who missed having her pillow.

He entered the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a bunch of fruit and ice cubes.

Wally paused in seasoning her chicken, watching him with disapproval. "Wally, you do realize I'm making dinner right now, right?", M'gann said. "You can't wait a few more minutes to eat?"

"I'm just making a smoothie, calm yourself", wally responded. He grabbed a knife and used his speed to cut up the fruit and add them to the blender on the counter, along with some other ingredients. He then pressed a button on the blender, which made a loud grating sound.

M'gann jumped up in surprise, as did Conner. "What are you doing? Why is that so loud?", she asked, covering her ears. Wally lifted his finger from the button and gave her a questioning look.

"Have you really never used a blender before?"

M'gann quirked her head to the side. "That's a blender?"

Wally facepalmed, and Dick looked back from his spot on the floor. "You can't be serious. Don't you practically live in the kitchen?"

M'gann crossed her arms defensively. "Yeah, but I never went near the 'blender', I always figured it wasn't important. What does it do?"

Kaldur raised his hand from where he sat with his arms around Raquel. "I, too, am curious as to what a blender does. Is it used for preparing food?"

Artemis huffed a sigh as she lifted herself up from the couch. She pulled up Dick by the arm, who protested as she led him to the kitchen. "Come on, guys. It's time for a lesson on Earth appliances. Raquel, Zatanna, Kaldur, get over here. I'm only going to do this once, so everyone pay attention."

Artemis gestured to the blender like she were in a commercial. "This is a blender. It's an appliance used for more or less turning solids into liquids by attacking them with sharp metal blades that spin around until everything in the pitcher part is blended. Questions?"

All three non-human team members raised their hands.

Dick shoved his way in front of Artemis, saying, "You have to explain it more simply. Okay, guys. You see this clear thing? You put the stuff in there. Fruit, ice, juice, ice cream, whatever you want. Then you press one of the buttons on this part", he pointed to the bottom of the blender, "and the small blades inside it spin around and cut everything up into tiny pieces. Pretty soon the contents of the blender become a thick, frothy drink", he lectured.

Conner raised his hand.

"Yes, Conner?"

"Why?"

Dick paused expectantly. "...Why what?"

Conner shrugged. "Why do you use it? What stuff can you make?"

Wally spoke up. "A bunch of different stuff like smoothies, milkshakes, pretty much anything. Once I just threw a ton of chocolate bars in there and let it go. It was awesome."

"Can we try it?", asked M'gann excitedly.

"Sure" Zatanna answered. "But you have to be careful to not touch the sharp parts and keep the lid on while it's going. If you don't it splatters all over the place."

M'gann approached the blender carefully like it were a dangerous animal. Slowly she extended a finger and pressed the button, the same loud noise from before resounding. The ingredients Wally had previously filled it with spun around and created a beautiful swirl of colors, which the three students beheld in fascination.

After about a minute M'gann turned it off and took off the lid. Kaldur gasped. "They're all a liquid now. But how?"

Raquel laughed. "I swear, it's like introducing a baby to a television."

Kaldur, Conner, and M'gann watched as Wally poured his smoothie into a glass and walked off back to the couch, Artemis and Zatanna following him.

"Wait, I want to try using the blender", Conner whined.

Dick cackled at how eager he looked to use something as basic as a blender. "Then put something else in. All you really need to do is put stuff in and press the button. A cat could do it if he tried hard enough."

He and Raquel joined the others in the living room, Raquel throwing back a "Have fun, guys!"

Conner opened the fridge for something to destroy. He pulled out a tomato. "Will this work?"

Kaldur shrugged. "Only one way to find out", he responded.

Conner unceremoniously tossed the tomato into the blender and put the lid on. He pressed the button and watched the fruit slowly become a swirl of red juice. He waited a few seconds before examining his work.

"It looks like blood", he commented.

"I dare you to drink it", said M'gann. Conner furrowed his eyebrow but did it anyway, taking a swig of his tomato juice before cringing.

"It tastes like really gross ketchup. Does ketchup come from tomatoes?", he wondered.

Kaldur thought before yelling towards the living room.

"HEY ROBIN!"

"WHAT!"

"WHERE DOES KETCHUP COME FROM?!"

"TOMATOES!"

"It indeed comes from tomatoes", Kaldur explained. All three nodded thoughtfully.

After moments of trying to decide what to blend next, M'gann lightly hit her forehead. "Hello, Megan! How about we use the blender to make the mashed potatoes? I was planning on just using my telekinesis to squish them, but this is way more fun!"

Kaldur and Conner nodded eagerly and they all packed the blender with the slices of potato M'gann had chopped before. They turned it on, watching the device rattle for a while before turning the vegetables into a thick white paste. When it was finished Conner dumped the contents into a bowl, admiring how much easier having a blender made everything.

"People should use blenders to prepare dinner all the time", M'gann rejoiced. What normally would take her quite some time to do, a blender had completed in barely a minute. What else could they put in there...

...

"Dinner's ready!", M'gann announced an hour later. The team walked into the kitchen expectantly only to find several jugs filled with weird liquids.

"Uh... What are we having?", Artemis asked.

M'gann gestured to each jug and listed, "We made chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and rice."

"I helped", said Conner, obviously pleased with himself.

Dick facepalmed. "Guys, you weren't supposed to put everything into the blender. How are we supposed to eat anything if they're all liquid-y?"

Kaldur brought out some bowls and straws. "With these."

Wally groaned. "But I don't want to eat dinner pureé!", he whined.

Wolf chose that opportune moment to stride into the room, and before anyone could react Robin chucked some bacon from somewhere in his utility belt at the table. Wolf leaped on top of it and ravaged the whole meal, effectively destroying the food and probably the table as well.

Artemis wore a look of fake shock. "Well would you look at that! Wolf ruined our delicious meal. Oh no."

Zatanna shook her head in sorrow. "Yes, it is quite the shame. And here I was, so excited to try the chicken smoothie", she said sarcastically.

The other humans nodded pitifully and had a moment of silence for the loss of their gross food. Then Wally perked up and shrugged. "Oh well! C'mon guys, there's this pizza place like a block away where we can eat. Kid Flash out!" And he sped away. The others followed quickly, leaving the remaining three members of the team to clean up the mess.

Kaldur tilted his head in question. "...I take it they did not like our meal?"

M'gann tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I don't see why they wouldn't. All we did was make everything drinkable. If anything, they should have enjoyed it more."

"You know what? Screw this", said Conner. He unplugged the blender and picked it up from the counter, taking it towards the back of the mountain. Kaldur and M'gann followed him to the back door, where he proceeded to drop-kick it off the cliff and into the ocean below. They saluted it farewell, and Conner crossed his arms and muttered, "I hate blenders."


End file.
